My Favorite Memoirs

A list of my favorite memoirs and what they taught me about writing

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

I used to hate reading non-fiction. I was a novel-girl for most of my life. Then I found memoir. Now, keep in mind, I said I like memoir, not autobiographies. I was reminded of my preference when I recently read Ina Garten’s recent book, Be Ready When Luck Happens. It’s not a bad book, it was entertaining. But it wasn’t, to my mind, a memoir.

To me, an autobiography is a linear account of someone’s life. It typically begins at birth and take you through the story of someone’s life. Memoir, on the other hand, focuses on theme (usually something many of us can relate to) and the author illustrates that theme by telling personal stories. In this way the book becomes less about one person and more about a universal experience.

It’s something I try to do here, in my essays to you. I don’t just want to tell you what has been happening in my life, I want to share my experiences with you so we can all travel through life together in companionship. I know I’ve accomplished this goal when you leave comments about how you felt or tell me about the memories my writing has brought up for you.

Here’s what has been inspiring me lately:

Lifeform by Jenny Slate

I read Slate’s first memoir, Little Weirds a few years ago. Here’s the thing about her writing. You will, most likely have a love-hate relationship with it. You will read one of her essays and hate it. You will recoil at the “weirdness” of it. But that weirdness will whisper to you and drive you to keep going. And then you will come across an essay with lines so beautifully written, you will weep and wonder how you could have ever hated the previous essay. And then the process will repeat itself. Slate says it best about herself (and her writing):

“One of my best qualities is whimsy combined with being sensible and acting on that sensibility right away, but on behalf of whimsy, to help make it work. Whimsy cannot whirl itself through cluttered and junked-up spaces. Whimsy is not the same as kookiness and is the opposite of laziness.” -Jenny Slate, Lifeforms

As an aspiring writer, this book inspired me to explore the art of lyrical essays, to let my own senses of whimsy, combined with seriousness, come through in my writing.

Bite by Bite: Nourishments and Jamborees by Aimee Nezhukumatathil

You know I love a food memoir and this one does not disappoint.

After recovering from the roller coaster ride of reading Slate’s memoir, Bite by Bite is like being on a lazy river. Equally beautiful, but slow, lilting, and tender. Each essay is about a different food, tied to a memory. Again, I will turn to the author to describe her own book:

What we think about food is a portal into our own personal histories, ourselves-” -Aimee Nezhukumatathil, Bite by Bite

I am inspired by this book to continue writing food memoir. For some of us, food is the gateway to our stories and the best (and the worst) parts of our lives happened around the kitchen table.

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More Memoir

I’ve written about memoir before as it is one of my favorite genres. Here’s a past essays, found on my old blog, if you are looking for more recommendations.

Reading and Writing Memoir, September 2021

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At the check-out desk

I just returned from a quick trip to California, where my siblings and worked on clearing out my parents’ house as they have both moved to care facilities. While the house wasn’t the home I grew-up in, the contents were familiar-some dating back to wedding gifts my parent’s received over 56 years ago. These were things I always saw in their house. Now some of those things must go. I regret not moving quickly enough on a writing project to document the items, like I wrote about in this essay last year.

I did take the time to go through my mother’s cookbooks and recipe cards with the intention of capturing our childhood favorites. Some of the recipes will likely never be made again-1970s cooking, with all it’s processed foods-is no longer palatable to most of our tastes-but I feel a deep desire to document them, to write about the stories that were served up beside those foods.

It is more important now than ever to nourish one another, to gather around tables with people we love and I am looking forward to spending some happier hours in the kitchen with my mother’s, grandmothers’, and aunts’ recipes, creating a family history through food and story.

Thank you to those of you who reached out to find out why I’ve been quiet lately. I am dealing with a difficult chapter in my life as my parent’s struggle with their health. It feels good to know you are out there, thinking of me. I’m thinking of you too.