12 Comments

I've been a lifelong journal writer, too. My diaries and journals take up two shelves in my studio. The first one was a Christmas present when I was 12. It had a fabric cover with bears and hearts and it had a little brass lock. I can't remember if or where I hid it. Re-reading it makes me laugh. The spelling and grammar. My handwriting. Crushes on boys. Quotes from songs. I was so naive, immature and sheltered.

It is interesting to look back. I wish I could talk to my former selves.

The Secret Garden is one of my favorite books! I re-read it every so often. Perfect reading for spring! :)

Expand full comment
author

Somehow I knew you still had your diary! It's a bit of a cringe to read my old diaries but I also feel so much love and affection for that little girl, the younger me, when I read them. And I can't help but think that it's good for mental health to tend to my inner child in that way occasionally.

Expand full comment

Oh, gosh, yes. I keep thinking about her (the younger me). Reading my books is super cringe-worthy at times (and I wonder why I was so focused on boys and crushes, why that persona was so important to me and the me I created on those early pages), but also, like you, I feel so much love and affection for my younger selves (the girl on the first page who spelled hectic with an extra K and was excited for my $66 of Christmas money, the girl who took advantage of boring sermons in church to fantasize about River Phoenix and later the girl who started thinking about her place in the world and who had lofty goals of "saving the world, or at least prolonging its life"). I'm grateful for this collection of books and view into myself. Thanks for inviting me to think about these things.

Expand full comment

I have so much to sayyyyyy.

First, every time I read something like this I desperately wish we knew each other earlier, like in our youth, because we are SO similar. But, unlike you, I (get ready, are you ready?) BURNED my old diaries. *cries forever* I cannot even believe I did that. Well, I can, because I was a dramatic soul. Regrets, I have them. Boy, do I have them. But I think what happened is when I read them later on, I was embarrassed by my thoughts which also had to do with weight and boys and a dance and how much I hated my mother (ahhhh hormones). I wish so much that I had kept them.

I also read I Never Promised You A Rose Garden! Boy, I haven't thought of that book in decades. And of course Anne Frank. I have a secret though - I loathe The Secret Garden. Can we still be friends? I loved loved loved A Little Princess, and I have never been able to get past the first chapter of the Secret Garden. Oooh maybe I should reread A Little Princess! There is just never enough time to get all the reading done, is there?

Am I leaving a novel of a comment? Yes I am.

Expand full comment

If it makes you feel better, I'm with you Nicole. Never a fan of "The Secret Garden". I'm not even sure I finished it the first time, that's how annoyed I was with it. And, since I now make it a rule to not continue reading something that's just not resonating, I suspect there's a good chance I may not return to it to rediscover what left me so unimpressed at the time.

On the other hand, I'm totally in agreement with you about "The Little Princess". I have an illustrated copy published in 1967 with a relatively intact dust jacket, that has definitely seen better days. Definitely, one of my more treasured books from my later elementary school days.

Also, ...

I'm all for novel-length comments, not to mention novelettes for emails and texts, the latter of which I'm constantly accused of sending by the various male members of my family. Behold, the submission of my own novel of a comment in wholehearted support.

Expand full comment
author
Mar 25·edited Mar 25Author

Well, I hated Mary at the beginning too. I never fell in love with her but more with the lessons she learned about spending time outdoors and living a wholesome, simple life, filled with love and good food. But yeah, The Little Princess was my favorite book too. And I love novel length comments! Keep 'em coming!

Expand full comment

Okay, I'm good with that concept -- loving the lessons learned. I suspect that even back then I had issues reading books where the characters aren't sympathetic enough, or I'm just not buying the conflict because if everyone just sat down and had a good talk that would be the end of it. (Ye olde misunderstanding trope that still crops up in romance novels instead of valid conflicts and resulting growth.)

Expand full comment

Ohhhh I just adored A Little Princess!

Expand full comment
author

Do you remember anything about I Never Promised You a Rose Garden? I don't. And I'm suspicious I was too young to understand most of it. Being a precocious reader, I was reading books meant for adults at a young age. There was no such thing as YA back then so it was either Babysitters Club (which I could read in 10 minutes) or Looking for Mr Goodbar. I wish I was kidding when I tell you I read that when I was way too young for it. But it sure did scare me and kept me out of the bars when I was older. Ha!

Expand full comment

I do! I actually do! It had to do with a young woman who was put into a mental institution, but the reasons for that are unclear in my mind. Did she have schizophrenia, maybe? I did read a whole lot of really terrible books back then, that were romance-adjacent paperbacks. And Sweet Valley High! I loved those books when I was ten or so.

Expand full comment

This is great. I kept journals off and on from college into adulthood. I burned them all a few years ago. I realized that instead of sweet things like my favorite songs, I spent a lot of time complaining about the same things about the same people and that was rather eye opening.

Oh, imagine what the world would be like if we'd all spent the time and energy we'd used worrying about our weight and done something else. It's like hate speech directed at ourselves.

Wonderful entry. Looking forward to the journal prompts.

Expand full comment
author

You are the second person to say you burned your diaries. As I move into my early adulthood diaries, I'm suspicious I'll have the urge to burn mine as well.

Expand full comment